Sunday, 23 September 2007

A tale of a butterfly.

You'ld think its wilful.
.
But don't you crave for it somtimes?
.
When things become tight. Suffocating.
.
.

Escape. Run away from it all.

So what if you did?

Burst through the binding sinews, the meshing bonds.

Would status quo follow after?

No.

Why then chew on them hidden knives?

Blades of succulent green which fattend'u

Only to spin a straitjack'o fibres of regret woven.

If only i had known.

So in it I hid. I moped.

The walls hugged me tight. Skintight.
.

Yet. I felt no warmth.

What's new?

Figured Hey. Stay. Disappear.

Maybe. Someone would care.

Just maybe, Peer in.

Haha.

Maybe its btr this way, I thought.

No need for complicated relationships, affairs of the heart.

Lovely peace and quiet.

Reality sunk in eventually.

Is it really that much? a kiss? a smile?

To pacify me out of my lil' tantrum?

To remind me how it felt like to be pampered?

I waited. No takers.

I cried.Broke down.

Oh don't cry please don't cry.

Do u believe it? I was hoaxing myself.

Pathetic.

So on I wailed.

I cried out for some love, much needed comfort.

Anyone.

topullmeoutofthisstiflingcoldthisworldthativecometoknowthatrobbedmeofmyinnocencescarredmysoulmurderedmyspirit

killedmymindleftmelooselyhangedabovecityskylightssobrightsolovelyonlytotakeintheviewalltheviewieverwantorneed

andneverbeingabletoexperienceit

Then it happened.

It tore. opened.

I saw the light. It was blinding. Beautiful.

Slowly,

I crawled out.

Wait.

Something's different.

I feel..

Stronger.

I stretched my sleepy tendons, squinted my prickled eyes.

I could see.

I could feel I could touch...........I could fly.

That was when I tasted sweet hope.

Hope that maybe, just maybe,

One day,

I'll learn to love.

12:10 am

Sunday, 16 September 2007

Fears and Uncertainties.

Went to Hippo's hse for a mugging session ytd!:D:D

Packed lunch at loyang pt wif blackman bef arriving and met someone. Hmm.. lols. Anw lunch was gr8, esp wif us doing a once-ovr for a fren:) although it wld have been btr w/o a particular someone ard.

Then it was back into the com rm for gp research. NOT. Lols it was one racist vid aft anth on youtube, from warpedly-translated movie clips to Russel Peters. Karthikk was ponned beyond redemption until we found a chinese one. HE WAS SO HAPPY I TELL U AND WAITED SO ANXIOUSLY FOR IT TO BUFFER AND WHEN IT DID it was jap. -.-lols..

We finally decided youtube was boring and went blog hopping:):) Karthikk, being the pido that he was, became extremely horny and started to comment on sa cheerleaders to my choir jrs LOLS. Juz when he was starting to lose himself to his wild fantasies(lols..), he saw a contact on my msn list that looked familiar. Guess wad? My pae classmate is his pri sch playmate and havnt contacted since half a decade ago. Walking down memory lane, karthikk got us all nostalgic and Shawn started talking abt some other guy in his tjpae class hu was also karthikk's pri sch fren. Like wth?? Are all u ppl related or smth? LOLS ok racist..

Den Shawn and i started bitching and warned kkk to stay away from someone or end up killing each other lols. Halo poped up on the desktop and being bored karthikk started playing. Things turned dry and i left shortly.

The ride back home that evening was particularly meaningful. Rarely wld one haf the time to juz quietly recollect and evaluate everything that happens in their lives. Things u treasure arent thr to last juz because of petty differences. Getting news i always tot i'ld be ecstatic to hear became a bittersweet moment, esp when friendships are tainted and ppl no longer trust each other. Sometimes i wish hard for things to revert back to wad it was. Not because i still treasure wad things were before, but the loss of innocence and trust among frens become so thinkly coated with doubt, sometimes u juz want so bad to run away from it all.

Anyhow. Life's great so long one's sights are placed on things that matter. I treasure the ppl who put in the effort to be more den proximity frens.

And I'll always love u.